The worst questions and most unhelpful ‘advice’ you’ll receive from strangers once you become a mother

August 29, 2018

The most unhelpful advice you'll receive once you become a mother

As soon as your bundle of cries arrives, you’ll feel like you have an instant target on your back. To some members of the public, they see a mother and feel it is their human right to shower that said new mother with unwanted thoughts and unhelpful advice. No one asks for it. No one really needs it either, but still it goes hand in hand with having a child. Here’s what to expect and how to avoid more of these ‘attacks’ in the future.

  1. The bags are forming under your eyes, sleep is something rare these days. Enter the “gosh you look tired. You should be sleeping when baby sleeps. I know the best way to put a baby down...” the speech goes on. And you actually believe in this moment you could fall asleep. Strangers always feel the need to onboard their ‘this is how and when a baby should sleep’ comments. They are never ground breaking or helpful. And it’s highly likely these people also never had a sleeping baby, or they actually never had a child at all. Ear plugs and headphones are a welcome purchase to keep in the nappy bag for these people.

  2. “Are you feeding?” My, what a question! Am I feeding my baby? What kind of person do you think I am for not feeding my new child... most of the time we know this question is actually a double barrelled inquisition into if we are actually breastfeeding or not. This is no one’s business whatsoever and as a new Mum, you should never feel like you need to respond to this question. A quick exit from this point is more than acceptable.

  3. If they open with a “back in my day...” RUN! Do anything you can to leave! You do not want to hear what comes next. Most likely this phase is followed by a “you girls have it so easy these days” line. And boy that never goes down well with a new mother just surviving with 2 hours sleep, a child screaming while hanging onto her boob, covered with at least 5 spots of fresh vomit on her top! Yeah, it’s ‘so easy!’ Do anything you can to end this ‘lecture’.

  4. Probably one of the worst things you’ll be asked, especially in those first few weeks is the “when is your next baby due?” - while pointing at your prominent stomach. Come on, what the actual?! Can these people not see a freshly birthed newborn sitting in the pram? It is actually physically impossible to already be about 5 months pregnant with a baby only a few weeks old! For most of us, it can take a number of months for that belly to deflate, comments like this do not help a new mom in any way!

  5. “What’s the child’s name?” - I never get the reasoning behind this question. Are they really interested? Do they plan on greeting my child by his name next time we encounter one another, (which is probably never!)? My favourite part of this question is the follow up “oh they’re naming kids with some funny names these days” - a nice back hander on my well-chosen name. I’m training my child to start kicking people in the shins when they start commentating in this manner on his name. Hopefully then they’ll get the message!

What other annoying questions and advice have you received as a new parent?



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Size Guide Clothing

YOUR GUIDE TO FINDING THE RIGHT SIZE FOR YOUR CHANGING SHAPE

Unsure what size to buy? Mayarya offers an array of style solutions to suit your changing shape. From cleverly designed maternity friendly but not maternity only dresses with discreet nursing access to maternity pants with stretchy elasticated waistbands that can adjust to your post-partum shape too.

Find out what styles work for your stage of pregnancy and beyond!

How does Mayarya sizing work?

Mayarya follows international sizing standard. We take every effort to keep our sizing true and consistent and we want you to be able to wear the same size across all garment types in Mayarya. However, there will be occasional variations in the fit of some products depending on the style and fabric.

How does the size guide work?

The first step to determine which size to buy is by measuring your body size. Before you start measuring, remember to use non-stretchable tape and to keep the tape close to your body without depressing it. We aligned our products to the body measurements of the International Sizing Chart.

  • For Tops and Dresses, please measure your bust. Wrap the measuring tape around the fullest part of your chest (at nipple level).
  • For Bottoms, please measure your under belly or under hip. Wrap the measuring tape around the fullest part of your hips and just below your bump.

Please see our 'Mayarya Clothing Size Guide' below for more details:

  • CM
  • INCH

Please Note:

  • Our measurements indicate the maximum size within a range. For example, if your bust measurement is 89cm (35 inch), and under belly measurement is 95cm (37 1/2 inch), then you would wear a size S
  • Our model's average measurements during pregnancy: Waist (98cm / 38.5 inch) - Bust (90cm / 35.4 inch) - Hip (95cm / 37.4 inch) - Height (175cm / 5'8 inch)
  • Our model's average measurements not pregnant: Waist (68cm / 26.8 inch) - Bust (90cm / 35.4 inch) - Hip (95cm / 37.4 inch) - Height (175cm / 5'8 inch)
  • Our model wears size S for tops, dresses and bottoms

 

BOTTOMS

Bottoms are one of the first items you realize your belly started growing! At Mayarya, we have under belly and over belly styles to accommodate your style and comfort needs.

Under Belly Pants, Treggings and Leggings

They sit below your growing bump and are particularly great during warmer seasons as it means less layers for your bump. A great solution for women with very sensitive skin as it does not cover your belly. Mayarya's under the belly pants look much like regular pants with stretchy, elasticized waistband so you can continue wearing them post-pregnancy too!

Over Belly Pants and Leggings

They are particularly great if you want some support around your belly. We choose breathable and stretchy fabric so it will not restrict the growth of your baby. You can fold them down during the early stage of pregnancy, roll up during 2nd and 3rd trimesters and roll/fold them down post-pregnancy.

Shop all Maternity Bottoms >

Over Belly Treggings
Front Twisted Maternity and Nursing Dress

 

DRESSES AND TOPS

Our dresses and tops are designed for both pregnant and non-pregnant women in mind so you can wear them seamlessly post-pregnancy.

You can select your size according to your pre-pregnancy size since our clothes are designed to fit from your first trimester to your third trimester. 

Our smart design allows more room around your belly during pregnancy but falls down nicely on your body after pregnancy.

If you have gained more than the average pregnancy weight according to your doctor, you could go one size up from your pre-pregnancy size. If you are between two sizes, we recommend you pick the larger of two sizes.

Shop all Maternity and Nursing Dresses >

Shop all Maternity and Nursing Tops >